Reviewed by: Choice Magazine

“This is a helpful little book for people who deal with conflict in their professional, social, or personal lives or within themselves--that is, everyone. Written by a practicing therapist and a freelance writer in a clear, no-nonsense style that is free of jargon and strong on useful metaphors, the book examines the relationship between power and emotion in a wide variety of interpersonal relationships....Recommended. Lower- and upper-division undergraduates and above; general readers.”

Reviewed by: Dante S. Shaw, Ph. D., Lawrenceville,Georgia for the Georgia Psychologist.

Dr. Erik Fisher, with writing assistance from Steven Sharp, has written a fine volume in his first published book. Highly informative and thought provoking for clinicians, and easily accessible for lay people, this book has it all. The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict focuses on the connection between emotions, particularly our deepest held feelings about ourselves and others, and conflict generated by issues of power. Our own sense or power, or lack of, contributes to situations with others where fear, mistrust and insecurity lead to conflict. Understanding our own and others feelings, needs and motivations can help to diffuse and work through personal conflicts for power struggles.

Dr. Fisher posits his belief in equity-based rather than hierarchical-based systems of power distribution. These help to minimize the need for battles for control. He expands into an excellent description of the unconscious roles played out in human interaction: Victim Persecutor, Instigator, and Rescuer. Again, understanding and trying to avoid acting out or falling into these behaviors is the means to decrease conflict. He continues by explaining how we view emotions hierarchically, ours and others, on a continuum of strong/weak and good/bad and right/wrong. Anger, arrogance, confidence, love and happiness are seen as strong, though all are not seen as good or right emotions. Sadness, fear, guilt, confusion, helplessness, failure and insecurity are bad, wrong and weak feelings. In an equity-based system, all feelings have a purpose in terms of what the emotions are trying to tell us. The emphasis is on how our feelings and defenses can contribute to and increase conflict between ourselves and others, as well as within ourselves.

There are chapters on power and the family, power and intimate relationships, power in the workplace and power struggles within the self. Conflict resolution strategies are discussed. Dr. Fisher packs so much information and theory into this book that it may require a second read. He attempts to integrate a number of approaches and ideas into a comprehensive explanation of interpersonal conflict, as well as psychopathology and psychotherapy. Familiar and helpful ideas from psychodynamics, gestalt, transactional analysis, and attachment/trauma approaches are well explained. A tremendous amount of emphasis is on the development of the conscious and unconscious mind.

Throughout the book, Dr. Fisher includes clinical examples, vignettes, and good case material to highlight his ideas. For those interested in self-evaluation, he has developed personal inventories, questions, and a series of exercises to address one's own sense of power and to promote conflict resolution. The material lends itself to real life clinical situations, providing insight and direction for a number of problems. Marital, parent-child, and coworker power struggles are highlighted. An in depth look at numerous human emotions are included. Dr. Fisher looks at the development and role of all these important feelings to people.

Dr. Fisher is a skilled, gifted clinician. He is passionate about people, their issues and our capacity to heal ourselves and others. In his psychotherapy practice, his approach is dynamic, caring and genuine. He combines systems, psychodynamics, interpersonal and spiritual psychology to promote healing. As an expert in the use of clinical hypnosis, Dr. Fisher explores forgotten , unconscious childhood memories, emotions, and introjects with the aim of self understanding, re-parenting, and healing. The emphasis is on full acceptance of all aspects of one's experiences, emotions, and cognitions. He is a positive, life-affirming therapist. Populations treated include children with attachment disorder, sexual or physical abuse victims, adults with depression, anxiety and self-esteem difficulties, as well as couples and families.

In speaking with Dr. Fisher, he is currently hard at work on another book about consequences of power, emotions, and parent-child interactions. The emphasis will be on resolving conflict and dealing with common parent-child power struggles. The role of therapy in identifying and helping these issues is discussed. Regardless of one's orientation as a therapist, there is something to be gained from examination of Dr. Fisher's ideas. The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict: Understanding Emotions and Power Struggles is an ambitious undertaking, and I feel that Dr. Fisher has done an excellent job. As Georgia Psychologists, and also as members of GPA, I believe we should congratulate Dr. Fisher for this book's contribution to our field. I look forward to reading Erik's next book.

Courtesy of the Door County Compass web site.

Books in Review by Jeanie Kezo
Sharp and Fisher explore keys to conflict resolution
April 29, 2004
by Jeanie Kezo, Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin

"It was the afternoon of March 27th when Gail came home with a shopping bag, and Glen, her husband, greeted her coolly… They often argued over money; matters as seemingly trivial as whether to buy ground beef or ground chuck could lead to a shouting match. 'He's just a greedy, selfish man,' Gail sometimes told her friends after one of their bouts. 'She just goes through money without a care in the world,' Glen told his friends when the topic of their wives' spending habits arose. However, is the situation just that simple? "

With the air of a best-selling novel, the passage quoted above illustrates only one of the many real-life, everyday examples salted throughout The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict: Understanding Emotions and Power Struggles . Written by Steven W. Sharp, my dear friend and writing mentor, and Dr. Erik Fisher, a licensed psychologist from Georgia, their new book release explores the subtle relationships between conflicts, emotion, and our personal sense of power.

There is no denying we all experience conflicts that may generate powerful feelings that we may not know how to control or even understand. Power struggles cause most conflicts and, they exist not only between us, but also within us .

According to Dr. Fisher, the important thing for the reader to grasp is that, "the existence of all emotions in humans is universal - it is what we do with the emotions that makes us different."

Right from the beginning, Fisher and Sharp establish the relationship between power and emotions by defining power as a range of emotions that changes, with each conflict we encounter. Our moods often influence the outcome of a conflict, so, the better we understand our feelings and how to control them, the less chance we may harm our self-esteem or damage important relationships.

The book details how our reactions to conflict cause us to adopt certain roles that affect our personal power: Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer, and/or Instigator - we may assume several roles, even changing roles in the midst of a single confrontation.

As Sharp explains, " The roles we assume during a conflict are dynamic. The roles shift as we try different approaches to rally our position in a conflict. "

The power structures we align ourselves with also affect our personal power and help to determine what roles we play. Most of us exist under "pecking orders" called hierarchies, which encourage competition between members of social and professional groups, such as in government or families. The competitive nature of these hierarchies often leads to great damage to our self-esteem, when we encounter failure.

It is fear of failure - a personal demon for much of my own life - that often prevents us from attempting to learn new things. Under an equity system, in which we each hold equal value, failure is neither right nor wrong, but "merely an emotion that tells us it is time to learn." In reading this book, I realized that the possibility of failure need not be threatening.

Though I don't normally choose self-help or psychology books for my library, this book is unique. I really enjoyed Sharp's sprinkling of effective, clear-cut examples throughout the text, and his confident tone enhances the book's well-written style in a manner that is interesting and easily understood.

A few years ago, Steve suggested I read his working manuscript during a tumultuous time in my life. It felt so soothing - being especially prone to emotional reactions then - and comforting to know that I had a right to feel whatever emotion overcame me. Yet, if I stopped to analyze what I felt and why, it often diffused the severity of the situation, allowing me to react in a more positive way. The success I gained from beginning to understand and master my emotions has led to greater confidence.

Coupled with simple illustrations, exercises, and down-to-earth language, the book guides the reader toward a better understanding of power, emotions, and conflict. Helpful questions appear at the end of each chapter, as an added bonus, which serve as a personal inventory for the reader to identify with each lesson.

Sharp and Fisher each draw upon decades of experience in their respective fields of writing and psychology that make this book a joy to read. With Sharp's flair for the written word and Fisher's bold theories and extensive clinical knowledge, this book benefits not only the average reader, but also professionals in mental healthcare fields

The Art of Managing Everyday Conflict is available through Book World in Sturgeon Bay and Passtimes Books in Sister Bay, as well as on-line at Amazon .

Since earning his doctorate degree in Psychology from University of South Florida in 1994, Dr. Erik Fisher obtained his license to practice clinical psychology from the state of Georgia, and has maintained a successful practice in Atlanta for the past ten years. He and his wife, Christina, are active in community service and volunteer their time and efforts toward assisting the less fortunate in their area. In his personal life, Dr. Fisher enjoys traveling, roller blading, and playing with his dogs.

Author, Steven Sharp is a 37-year-old native and lifelong resident of Huntsville, Alabama. He is a freelance writer with over sixteen years of experience in writing and publishing non-fictional articles. Steve and his co-author Dr. Fisher, are currently working on a book dealing with positive parenting. Steve is also co-authoring a book that chronicles the injuries, treatment, and recovery of Marianne Robards, who sustained a head injury on a roller coaster at Six Flags over Texas, and is now permanently disabled. Besides writing, Steve enjoys spending time with his wife, Samantha, and their four cats and two dogs.